Screen-Freak

by Clive James and Pete Atkin

You've got to help me, doc, I see things in the night
The tatters of my brain are bleached with flashing light
Just the way Orion's sword is pumping stars in flight
My mind's eye's skies are glittering and white

The Lady in the Dark has shot the Lady from Shanghai
The Thin Man and the Quiet Man are Comin' Thro' the Rye
At Red Line Seven Thousand there's No Highway In The Sky
The villains are the deepest but they plum refuse to die

Dance, Ginger, dance
The caftan of the caliph turns to powder at your glance

The Ambersons have spiked the punch and livened up the ball
Cagney's getting big and Sidney Greenstreet's getting small
The Creature from the Black Lagoon left puddles in the hall
And Wee Willie Winkie is the most evil of them all

Strangers on a Wagon Train have crashed the China Gate
The Portrait of Jennie has decided not to wait
The Flying Leathernecks arrived a half a reel too late
The Broadcast wasn't big enough and Ziegfeld wasn't great

Dance, Ginger, dance
The caftan of the caliph turns to powder at your glance
This one for Funny Face and Fancy Pants

The love of Martha Ivers caused the death of Jesse James
Kitty Foyle guessed it though she didn't link their names
I've seen the plywood cities meet their doom because of dames
Atlantis down in bubbles and Atlanta up in flames

And I've seen the Maltese Falcon falling moulting to the street
He was caught by Queen Christina who was Following the Fleet
And Scarface found the Sleep was even Bigger than the Heat
When he hit the Yellowbrick Road to where the Grapes of Wrath are sweet

Dance, Ginger, dance
The caftan of the caliph turns to powder at your glance
This one for Funny Face and Fancy Pants
A buck and wing might fix the Broken Lance
And break my trance

Note (from Collected Poems)

This one is a catalogue song in extremis, with the drawback that a lot of the movie references have gone hopelessly out of date. As Peter Bogdanovich once told me, it isn’t only that young people don’t know who Moses was when you talk about Charlton Heston starring as Moses, they don’t know who Charlton Heston was. But I remain proud of my line ‘Atlantis down in bubbles and Atlanta up in flames’. At least most people still know that Atlanta burns in Gone with the Wind. If the movie were remade today, the burning would be accomplished by CGI, but Selznick had to burn down the set. For Broken Lance, however, there is no eternal life. It was one of the first CinemaScope movies, and on a TV screen it looks like nothing. Only when you get to the Fred and Ginger level does immortality kick in. The caliph in the caftan was usually played by George Macready while Piper Laurie waited to be rescued by Gordon MacRae, all three of them unaware that one day even the film buffs would forget their names. Gone, gone: with the wind.