So Loud I Couldn't Hear It

by Clive James and Pete Atkin

I met a rock star with a hearing aid
An offshoot from the volume of his trade
I told him all about the night I heard
His band play and I didn't hear a word

It was so loud I couldn't hear it
So loud I couldn't hear it
He said 'What?' so I said it again
I said So loud I couldn't hear it
So loud I couldn't hear it
And he said 'It's just gone half past ten'

So even with that pink thing in his ear
There wasn't much I said that he could hear
But here was my chance to tell him truthfully
What his career in music had meant to me

So loud I couldn't hear it
So loud I couldn't hear it
I yelled but still his face was like a mask
So loud I couldn't hear it
I said So loud I couldn't hear it
And he said 'It's very nice of you to ask'

I filled my lungs for one last desperate try
From so close I was spitting in his eye
I could feel the arteries pulsing in my wrists
As I mangled his lapels in my clenched fists

So loud I couldn't hear it
I said it was so loud I couldn't hear it
I was screaming at him like a man in Hell
I said So loud I couldn't hear it
So loud I couldn't hear it
And he said 'The both of you are looking well'

Oh it was so loud I couldn't hear it
So loud I couldn't bear it
So loud I couldn't get near it
So loud I couldn't share it
If I had a tie that loud I wouldn't wear it

Oh, I told him, I'd had to leave
It was still too loud out in the street
Louder than UB40
It was better down in the tube station
My ears were still bleeding
I used to love those songs too, but
I can't listen to the records any more...
But hey, that's rock 'n roll!